Well, oy.

I guess it's been a bit two months now since I updated. Mainly it was because I was lazy, and things were crazy busy. But then things actually just went crazy. So if this is to be done, it should be done in parts.

1. Ichiban 一番

On March 3rd, I was finishing my day with a student, and I asked him what he was doing after class. He said he would just go home, and I told him I was going to America. He wasn't high level enough to get it right away, but he wasn't low-level enough to miss it completely, which made for an excellent double take. So after his lesson, I hopped in my hot pants and jumped on the monorail with Hera to Haneda Airport.

Honestly, it didn't quite feel like reality; I had a hard time getting it into my head that we were actually going to America, even though

the week leading up to it was the most excited I had felt since...some time past. And the plane ride itself was amazing--anyone who has ever been on a plane with me knows that I will scare the crap out of not just myself, but a

nyone within earshot of my terrified gasps--because I had not one but SEvEN seats to myself. That's right; I had two aisles to my lonesome.

When we got to the Americas, Hera and I jumped in the airport bus and basically started giggling--yes, like usual, we were in a vehicle full of Asians, but this time we were in

our territory, and we could act anyway we wanted. On the bus, I even asked Hera, "Do you think we are the only white people on the bus?" Hera looked at me and said, "Well, you might

be."

In many ways, it felt like I hadn't really left, until obvious things peeked in: the complete reconstruction of the shop

s by my house, the reconstruction in my own house, not having my room anymore, KNOW life goes on no matter what, but somehow you think you know (or at least expect) how things will play out--and even though I knew about these things, it's still a strange sensation.

The wedding itself was a completely lovely occasion, and I'm so so glad I had the opportunity to see Kelsey and Andy together in person. I know they'll probably already have a baby or a dog or at least ridiculous pet names for each other when I get back, so at least I could see them when it was just them starting off.

There really is so much I could say about that weekend. And yet I can't, so you'll have to settle for that. So with much ado,

we returned to Japan.

At 6 or so in the morning, Hera and I got back on the monorail. It was a really lovely morning in Tokyo, but I wasn't completely thrilled about the prospects of returning to work in 6 hours. I mentioned to Hera about how my coworker was always saying things like, "Oh, there's going to by a typhoon, and it will flood the trains and they'll have to cancel school" or "It's supposed to snow, and since they don't really know how to deal with snow in Tokyo, it will stop the trains and they'll have to cancel school." So I remarked to Hera that he was making all these false-promises, and I was still waiting for something to happen that would stop the trains and cancel school.

Then came Friday.

I'm sorry I can't afford a Ferrari

But that don't mean that I can't get you there (heheheh...Glee. And/or Cee-Lo).

Today I decided I would either update my blog or clean my disgustingly messy apartment, and if you are reading this now, you clearly know the choice I made--so for the two of you who read my blog and made my Facebook wall look like this----->

---this one's for you.

Today is (I actually typed "was" to begin with, and that left me feeling quite philosophical for a moment) Saturday, the end of the week, which usually brings some interesting occurrence. One such event occurred in my second class, which is an upper-intermediate class with only one middle-aged gentleman. The last portion of class consists of a "freer" conversation period, where the students practice using the structure in a natural (?) style conversation. Today, we were using present perfect to describe a problem that lead to another problem. Since we are supposed to be having a natural sounding conversation, I find that it's better to ease into the structure without just straight out saying it, so I demonstrated by going, "Oh no!" so that he could follow with "What's the matter?" Then, when it was his turn, he began with, "G0dd@mmit!" I have to admit, that was a first in my classroom.

Gosh...I don't really know why I went with the post idea. I have nothing to say, really. Ummm...I had a Pepsi Strong Shot yesterday. There's even a warning on the label, probably saying not to drink it or something. The Japanese part that I can read says that it has MEGA CAFFEINE. However, I don't really feel the effects of caffeine, so warning ignored. It didn't taste as delicious as normal Pepsi...or even PepsiNex. Here's a picture. Also, after being unlazy and actually reading the can, I see now that it reads Cola x Caffeine. Also, what happened to "I before E except after C and in cases of 'eigh' as in 'neighbor' and 'weigh'"? So from now on, I will now be pronouncing it "caff-ay-n." No joke, sometimes English a really obnoxious little pissant, isn't it? Sometimes I want to knock it around a little and teach it a lesson. Instead, I knock it around a little when I teach it in lessons.

Oy...

I realized that the majority of the pictures I post on here are of me holding up food to my mouth. But I find this strangely accurate of my character. So here's a few more for fun.

Santa Cookie from Mem!

My fave KitKat--Lemon flavored! Wish it

didn't come with blagh cola flavor.

There's no place like Japan for the LOLidays.

Memily made me Christmas cookies, then mailed them to Japan!! I was soooer excited when I discovered them. I've eaten about 3 so far, and each one has been utterly fantastic. I don't think I realized it before, but one of my favorite foods is apparently Christmas cookies. Actually, anything Christmas or Birthday flavored is my favorite--fudge, stuffing, Princess Cake, cookie dough, etc. Which makes it clear why "Chubs McGee" has been a nickname that has followed me around like I follow around the ever-changing KitKat collection, or Mew, or Tegan & Sara.

But hennyways, this post was originally supposed to be about how mature and suave I have become since coming to Japan, something which was proven quite thoroughly this week by my ability to keep my shiz together under tremendous pressure (and by tremendous pressure, I mean holding in the desire to spout out, "That's what she said!"--but we'll get there. That's what she said).

The first incident occurred last night in one of my highest level classes. We were discussing the differences between humans and robots (yeah...it's too much work to explain), and I asked what the core differences are. My one student said that humans [edit: again, a very crucial mistake; this should read robot, NOT humans] don't have hearts; and since they lack the ability to have feelings, she said, "They can't make love." Usually I correct such mistakes by explaining the differences in what they have said and what they are trying to say, but I didn't really feel like explaining to a 30-something woman about this particular idiom. Also, I couldn't talk anyways--had to let someone else run with the topic as I tried to keep from laughing.

The second incident occurred this morning with a college student in our second most advanced class. She has a book of self-study that includes many different phrases that are useful in daily lives; I approached as she read it and laughed. When I asked to see what amused her, she showed me the phrase, "I've been waiting for a raise." Considering how nuts she was going over the brief sentence, I actually thought that she was pulling the same meaning from it as I was--but no, it turns out that she was just imagining someone waiting around to get a pay raise, which is apparently very funny in Japan.

The last incident (and yes, I am specifically using the word "incident" because it reminds me of LOST) did not come from student interaction, but instead was brought on by a listening activity in a class. Two of the characters in this textbook are visiting Vietnam, and I learned something from their trip: the Vietnamese currency is the dong. Yup. But even better than that, the female character tells her male coworker that she forgot to exchange currency, and asked him if he had enough dong for the night. He replied

that he had more than enough for the whole trip. Of course, everyone should know why this made me LOL--yup; because it reminded me of Long Duck Dong, everyone's favorite Chinaman from Sixteen Candles.

Mind and Body at odds

So, right now my mind and my body are hating each other a bit, because my mind is like, "You need to go to sleep before 2 a.m.! You need to wake up before 10 and go to the gym and be healthy!" And my body's all like, "Yo, nah, whatevs, I'm not gonna shut down for another 3 hours or so, so I might as well drink this cheese (nope, nope, supposed to be eat but too lazy to delete) and eat this acerole drink (and yeah, that was on purpose actually, because i can't really say i'm going to drink this cheese AND this drink; i at least need to be consistent in mixing up verbs) and check out Tegan and Sara interviews." The last part is actually more of my brain being like, "Well, if you're gonna stay awake, then food has to stop, but T&S can continue." It's a compromise. Also, I recently discovered that to be like t&s stylistically, all I have to do with wear red vans and a striped black&white shirt. So someone get on that for combo christmas/birthday gift.

That's all. I guess I'm back at the stage where all I do is talk about t&s.

I'm piteously slow at updating; of this I am aware.

During a leisurely stroll through my neighborhood tonight, I found not one, but two condom vending machines (though this was not the strangest vending machine I discovered on my walk--that prize goes to the battery vending machine). People kept telling me when I first moved here that the city was really safe, but that's not exactly what I had imagined. I'm not entirely surprised; on my walk, I basically passed one vending machine per minute; I'm actually surprised I didn't pass more unusual ones. I do have to admit that many of the drink dispensers have some fascinating choices--hot red bean soup and coffee jelly drinks being some examples. And while I haven't tried either of those things, I admit I am very pleased to have the option of having them.

Corn Choco!

More dericious than it sounds.

So I have to post this little anecdote because it is redonkulous. Yesterday, biking on my way to the gym, I saw one of the humongi crows of Japan poking around someone's garbage net (as it was burnable garbage--i.e. food waste--day). Last year, one of the Nav staff told me the story of crows scattering her garbage, and how the garbage knocked on her door and gave her a scolding because of it. I decided to save someone the trouble, so I scared the crow off by riding close to it, but not before it took off with what looked like a large meatball. I turned the corner and had gone about 2 meters when I saw something drop from the sky before smacking me in the knee. I could tell from the weight and the leftover bits on my leg that it was a large pit of some kind of fruit. While riding, I looked over my shoulder to see the crow staring at me, and I have to admit, I was pretty impressed with the bird. I nodded to him as if to say, "Touche."

[Edit: Hera informed me of my mistake by saying, "Did you mean to say that the garbage knocked on her door?" And as wonderfully magical as that sounds, no; I didn't. Twas in fact the garbage man (which, if you think about it, really just sounds like pile of garbage that has taken the form of man and become animated. Like Frosty the Snowman...Maybe...Dusty the Garbageman.]